I Can Do Hard Things

Standing in my kitchen this week I told my husband I wasn’t going to do a something because it was “too hard”. Now this level of quit doesn’t happen to me very often but when it does I am committed to it. Like don’t get off the couch to pee commitment. Being a mom of three, not getting up to pee is the most committed to quitting that anyone can be.

My husband and I have been married for 15 years. And no one can give a better pep talk. He simply responded by saying “yes you will and we will do it together”. And he is right, no matter what is happening or how hard I perceive it to be I can do hard things.

Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with our challenges that we forget the sheer amount of hard things that we have already overcome. By the age 39+1 most of us have survived any number of things that were difficult. You know those events that were knock the air out of you soul crushing, but we keep going anyway. We as humans do a poor job of reflecting on how we managed those challenges with the strength that we already had in us. We are literally built to endure hardship.

When doing hard things you can choose gratitude in the face of the very challenges that are testing you. For example, we can choose to be grateful for the stressors in our lives. Gratefulness is not shiny happy people holding hands (thanks REM), it is a daily practice and personal choice.

If you are struggling with the concept of gratitude, ask a child. It can be that easy. So I did that this week. My oldest is grateful for our family and the Lord (if she doesn’t become a guitar toting missionary, I will be shocked). My middlest daughter is grateful for food, water, and our family, always a realest. And my son, in classic baby boy fashion, stated that everyone in the family should be thankful for him. Yep it’s that simple.

Being grateful does not have to be a perfect exercise, you can be grateful for parts of an event, thought, feeling, or behavior. Being grateful for the lesson or the struggle is an example of practicing gratefulness even if the situation is not good. This is a survivor mindset, you can do hard things and changing your mindset will change your mood.

Resiliency is a word thrown around in the counseling field, it’s a real buzz word. But resiliency is simple-endure hard things and survive them well. Most resilient people are able to reframe their experiences to not only things that they’re grateful for but lessons they’ve learned. Learning to reframe our own experience can provide the hope that is needed to keep moving...things can and will get better.

Today I am grateful for clean hair, a busy schedule, and my husband’s pep talks.