Meh and Other Complicated Emotions

Let me just be real with you all. I had a really funny Father’s Day blog planned for this week. But I had my husband proof read it and he was not impressed. Now at some point I will post it but not today because I think it is funny (even if he doesn’t, he is not funny, ask my kids).

I think he was not impressed because it was inauthentic. Because 22 years and three kids later provides perspective on someone that only comes with dedication (the good, the bad, and the ugly). Life helps you either grow together or apart. Thankfully we continue to choose each other in world where lots of choices feel easier at times. I recognize that I am not always the easiest to choose.

I bet most of y’all who have been reading blogs know he is my biggest supporter by now. In fact I promise I would not have my own practice without my “office manager”. He really deserves a raise. He is all details while I am passionate about the big picture. And he is handing out business cards all over Concord. But I digress because this post is not all about him. It’s about me, as he already knows😜.

All of my blogs so far have been triggered by an event, feeling, or thought. I think my most honest reactions are often the most relatable. So I feel meh by Father’s Day because it’s complicated.

Some of us have very complicated relationships with our families of origin. Your family of origin is the family you are born into, not the one that you created. Family dynamics even in the best circumstances are exhausting.

Father’s Day is a struggle for me for multiple reasons just like it is for a lot of people. Think about people who have lost fathers, the people who never had fathers, and the people who are trying to reconnect broken relationships. You are not alone and it’s okay not to know how to feel on a day dedicated to all fathers.

Some people grieve on these holidays. Grief comes on like waves. One day you might be crashing and then just as quickly riding the swell on the next day. Or it maybe moment to moment especially when the loss is recent. Grief is not just about death, grief is about loss.

Now among all the grateful Facebook posts there is me and probably some of you, feeling just meh. It can be hard to participate in a holiday that celebrates something that is a challenge for you. So I choose to celebrate the men in my life.

I am lucky to have some fantastic men in my life. So today I choose to honor those men who continue to show up even when I am difficult. Men who love me when I am demanding. Men who know that I am in fact just as complicated as my emotions. And I feel blessed to have seasons with these men.

Life is difficult. So celebrate those who support you unconditionally. Honor those who have your back and don’t waiver when it is difficult. Unconditional love is the best example of a father’s love and that doesn’t have to come from your dad.