Motorcycle Gangs and Other Back Up Plans

My middle daughter got a 2 on her report card this week. For my perfectionist daughter, it was the worst case scenario. Like shark attacks or train wrecks you see coming. A 2 in our school’s grading scale simply means she’s progressing in a certain area but has not mastered the material. I was not upset. But she was super emotional in regards to her perceived failure. Within minutes she went from “needs work” to “I might as well join a motorcycle gang”. She literally told me that was her plan.

Now this is not the back up plan I had in mind for my daughter by any means. And while I mean no disrespect to biker gangs, it’s not something a parent dreams about when it comes to a child’s future. However, she might be the perfect recruit. She likes black clothing, is loyal, and has been whittling sticks (or shanks?) with her pocket knife in our backyard for at least a year. I am telling you, she is the kid I would choose if I ever was in a street fight. Know your people.

Back up plans are great. It’s important to know you have options, as long as they don’t prevent you from trying to get to your original plan. Finding the courage to work on the original plan is important, it’s what develops self confidence, persistence, and strength. These are all qualities I want my daughter to have and therefore I will encourage effort in times of hardship…progress not perfection.

Now I am not saying a motorcycle gang is a bad plan, it’s just not her plan. And learning to have faith in herself is a process. So thankfully she has some time before her recruitment, we should give it another grading period at least.

Goals morph over time as a result of life changes, perceived failures, or unforeseen mistakes. But working on long term goals require persistence and flexibility at the same time, It’s a tough concept for us all.

So keep working on the original plan even if your back up plan is easier. While biker gangs may be appealing when it’s hard to reach your original goal, the process of choosing to try for your original plan consistently develops character traits that we can all be proud of.

Choosing strength and courage when it easier to bow out is difficult. Both of these character traits are choices. And maybe if you keep making progress toward your goals, you won’t need any shanks at all.