Re Routing: Decision Fatigue

I love my GPS. I can make several wrong turns and still eventually end up where I want to be. Also I like it when she says “re-routing” in an English accent. My GPS is sophisticated. And yes I will “turn into the car park”.

Making healthy choices is always more difficult than making easy choices. So sometimes I turn right when I am suppose to turn left. And making decisions for my kids adds another dimension. I avoid, I stall, and sometimes I panic if there are too many options. And when I am really over it I say “ask your dad” and he looks up at me with terror in his eyes. Even he knows the risks are too high to make a unilateral decision. It’s terrifying to consider that the choice that you make may impact your kid’s future forever. But this is parenting.

There are reason we have to help kids make healthy choices, their brains aren’t mature enough to think of all the consequences to their actions. Ask my son. He plays “dodge can” with one of his friends. He also plays a mean game of “who fits in a Tupperware box”. He can make any task more dangerous. He is a true innovator.

But I do find the more decisions I have to make the more emotionally drained I become. Decision fatigue is a phenomenon associated with making so many decisions that exhaustion makes it difficult to make any healthy decisions. I can facilitate problem solving all day and then I literally can’t decide what kind of dinner to make.

All the decisions we make for our kids weigh on us because as parents we worry about the impact of each decision on their future. What school to attend? What play date to arrange and how to fit it in an already packed schedule? What sport to encourage? What hobby do you want to do? Which camp do they go to (Uggh, summer)?

There are so many options to consider now when parenting. When I was young we went to the school assigned for our area and then to YMCA day camp. That was it. End of decision making. Not only did I grow up doing this but literally all of my friends did it too. But now the options are endless and with an increase in options comes an increase in real or perceived responsibility.

If you or someone you love is experiencing decision fatigue, there is something you can do about it. First give yourself grace and then limit the choices to three solid options to choose from. Recognize that the only thing you have any control over is yourself and the rest is all anxiety.

In reality all you can do is make the best choice for you and your family at the time in which you are being asked to make the choice. We will all make mistakes and look back at it and shake our heads. So teach your children to forgive because parenting is mostly trial and error. Not everything we do puts us in the running for parents of the year. I am positive my trophy is lost in the mail.

In spite of all of your choices as a parent, they will grow up and learn to be adults. Teach them to make healthy decisions for themselves by explaining your own reasoning. “Because I said so” while fun to say teaches nothing. Model the decision making processes and include seeking advice from people you trust. And most of all if you make a mistake you can always change it and “re route”. Let's teach kids that too!