Surviving a Happy Holiday

The holidays are a busy time of year and while some people thrive in the hustle of the holiday season other people have crippling increases in depression and anxiety. My husband used to call Halloween through Christmas my “busy season” and he was not wrong. There are usually increases in client crisis calls, pop up sessions, and general distress this time of year. Even the most emotionally regulated people tend to feel distressed between Halloween and Christmas.

So here are my survival tips, learned by experience and not endorsed by the Discovery channel (I am no Bear Grylls):

1. Just say no. That’s it. You don’t have to justify anything. You can say no to any party, event, or request (even if its your mama, sorry mama). We are grown, make the call.

2. Practice mindfulness. No I am not talking about meditating in the middle of your family event. I mean do one thing at a time. Invest all your energy in that one task while you are doing it. Be present for that moment and then move on.

3. Find the silver lining. The holidays never really end up being the Hallmark movies we want them to be. Bad things still happen to good people even if they have up all their Christmas lights, I assure you. Find the positive and hold fast to that.

4. Spend time in gratitude. Being thankful is not a season but a mindset. It’s hardest to be thankful in difficult situations but practice flexing that muscle so that when things are tough you are good at the exercise.

5. Listen to your gut instead of being polite. Listen to your gut and put yourself first. If it’s not good for you, do not do it even if everyone else is.

6. Mind your business and expect others to do the same. Want to put your tree up before Halloween, I support it. Want to ignore the tree and decor all together this season, I support that too.

7. Don’t spend too much money giving your kids everything they want. I can literally hear my husband cheer as I write these words. Love them and teach them financial responsibility at the same time.

8. Don’t drink too much. Don’t be that girl/guy. Everyone wants to enjoy the holiday but avoid using substances to numb sadness, grief, resentment, and/or anger. It doesn’t work. It will still be there in the morning along with your hangover.

9. Be still. The hurried season does not have to hurry you. Enjoy eggnog and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation in that order. Schedule time to do nothing well—really commit.

10. See a therapist. No body understands your family’s crazy dynamics like he/she will. Talk it out and handle your own emotions. If you need a referral reach out. We are a small community and there is someone who can help.