The Courage to Try and the Wisdom to Quit

I have this very troublesome core belief. I was never the smartest person in the room. I was never the prettiest person in the room. But I was always the hardest worker in the room. As a result of that intense work ethic, I have developed some real unhealthy responses to toxic situations.

There’s some old adage that says, “if you take a character strength to an extreme, it becomes a character flaw”. So today I write this blog as a therapist, as a mom, and most importantly, as an overachiever.

I took a break from blogging as a result of deciding to take a teaching position. Parts of this position, I truly loved. I loved watching people grow. I love providing feedback to new counselors. But there were also parts that I truly hated. There were times that I watched 28 taped counseling sessions for new counselors between Sunday and Wednesday. The addition of this to my private practice and hospital schedule was exhausting.

After spending countless hours away from my children, doing things that didn’t give me joy I have decided it’s not worth it. The money, while nice, is not worth that much distress. So just like Marie Kondo treats her drawers, If it doesn’t give me joy I’m not doing it anymore.

Can I work harder than most? Sure can. But do I need to do that? Nope. The fear of solely depending on my private practice for all of our financial needs is scary and has literally kept me from taking the full leap. But do I actually need that extra money? Nope.

One of my friends tells me regularly that I have a toxic relationship with certain tasks I do. She’s not wrong. My joy is in my private practice and in May I will taking the leap full time, building my practice and focusing solely on that. I’m choosing to experience joy not chasing money.

Because choosing money has become unhealthy for me and my family. I know I may not be able to take fancy vacations, but I will enjoy being present with my kids. I will enjoy being in the moment instead of just making it through this week, month, or year. So in May the gift I plan on giving myself is peace to have joy, with a leaner checking account. I am giving myself time and permission to focus on my practice even as we move into summer which is notorious for late cancellations and missed appointments because, “I just forgot”.

What toxic relationships are keeping you from experiencing joy? The courage to try new things is important but the wisdom to step back is too. The experience of the last few months has given me the wisdom to choose happiness.