The Odyssey: A Van Journey

Our van-she was old. Now to be fair, I hated her from the moment we bought her. In fact, we bought her on a date night when I was eight months pregnant in July with my third child. My husband may never live it down--we actually got babysitting and I was promised bread sticks at Olive Garden.

To me, the van was the symbol of all things evil. It signified the end of my cool SUV mom status and I was well aware that my self confidence was taking a hit. Now I may be over dramatizing but it was bad...I cried at the dealership while the poor salesman (literally a man child with barely any stubble) tried to congratulate me Bob Barker style on my new car.

She provided transportation to my family for 7 years. I hit many things in that van and she kept on trucking. She was durable and tough. Just what I needed with three kids under 4. We ate countless meals on the way to and from appointments. I would actually pump or feed the baby with the other kids in the back watching a movie because they were contained in car seats. Containment of chaos was key and we are too cheap for formula. Ask my husband and notice a theme in future blogs. Since she was the only car we all fit in comfortably, she was the trip van. But her time was over.

We took the kids with us to make the trade in for my husband's truck and each kid cried. The oldest cried because she had happy memories of going on long vacations. The youngest cried because he was brought home from the hospital in her (he is my sentimental child). The middlest (self described) cried because our new car would not smell like Chick-fill-a nuggets. Yes this is a thing. And to be fair, years went in to developing that smell in the van. Each kid had a different experience to recount as we drove away.

On our way to ice cream (this is what we do when we are upset), I thought about their reactions and how the van was the symbol of us being together. She was old and beat up but she is the symbol of that phase of life. She was a symbol of when all of us rode together most of the time and went to the same places. Now its a divide and conquer kind of strategy. Here is to hoping we remember all the kids at their practices, school events, and activities.

Its hard to be excited when phases of life end or change, even if they are car seats, diapers, and breast milk. The most real thing about life is when one phase ends another one begins and then you have to learn all the rules to the new phase. Like, "Don't embarrass me mom" and school dances. As I move forward vanless, I am going to try to remind myself to look forward to the new phases, even if I miss the old. You can do both. You can miss one phase and be ready for another at the same time. Its an AND and not an OR. So here's to your AND........